snorers
i’ve listened to people bitch about snoring since i was a kid. few things expose the natural bullshitted nature of humans like observing closely how people deal with it. i must be a freak, because the first thing that would come into my head before bitching about a snorer is the obvious (to me) question: “do i snore?”
well how do you know? there’s a group of catty bastards out there for which it’s the last question on their minds when then want to slag people for snoring. the silly assumption for most of them is that there’s no way in hell they snore. such ignorant arrogance.
in the snorer category, i’d guess from what people have told me that i’m an average snorer. i snore sometimes — sometimes loudly — but it’s not usually an all night thing. my experience from sleeping in rooms with others is that almost everybody snores. when a girlfriend of mine snores (which most have at least a bit), i just get a big smile on my face. what a thrill to have a girl in my bed! it never bothers me or keeps me awake. it’s soothing.
a new housemate where i live tried to pull the “you’re a snorer” highbrow shit on me a few weeks ago. he said he heard me snoring through the vent, since his room’s right below. i was halfway apologetic, but had my usual skepticism of his “you lowly human” routine. well of course, it turns out the fucker plugs his way through the night. if i’m awake, i can easily hear him whipping it up. he’s doing it right now. and i don’t give a shit.
but before you bitch about someone’s snoring, might wanna check that it ain’t a glass house you just moved into. that it’s not the first question a complainer raises is perhaps an indication of some core ingredients that make the world suck.
no, i’m not kidding. and stay tuned for my “fumble recovery” football fan post, as in “‘our’ side has the ball!” when nobody can see a thing.