French’s Introduces Antibacterial Mustard
…The mustard is orange in color, more translucent than the traditional varieties, and somewhat medicinal in flavor. In product trials performed by French’s, mothers preferred antibacterial mustard five to one when informed of its sterilizing properties.
A television commercial for the mustard plays up its prominent role in luncheon sanitization.
…[French's representative Darla] Nelson said consumers are increasingly concerned with the lack of germicidal properties in old-fashioned, non-antibacterial condiments.
“When I used to spread old-style mustard on my children’s hot dogs, I never knew what sort of bugs were breeding between the buns,” said a woman quoted on French’s website. “For all I know, microorganisms were actually feeding off the condiments I was squirting on my family’s meat. But now that I use French’s Antibacterial, I’m reassured by the mustard’s bright orange sheen, unique tanginess, and the little foaming bubbles that show it’s working. That’s a mustard we all can live with.” …
haha. good for the onion. hate that antibacterial foolishness. george carlin was onto something. give me germs, bitch.
April 19th, 2005 at 05:38
You had me going for a minute there. I was about to pull out my lecture about sterile = dead until I noticed it was The Onion talking. But it wouldn’t surprise me to see such a thing, and to see people swarming to poison themselves with it.
April 19th, 2005 at 12:53
Too fucking funny. Thanks, SP!
April 19th, 2005 at 14:18
wouldn’t surprise me either, bill. seems the onion is sometimes merely 5 years ahead of time.
glad you liked it, sunni G!
April 19th, 2005 at 19:11
That was great! You had me going for a minute there too.