eHarmony sucks
i’m the first to admit i’m a weirdo. fine; i’m a weirdo. but eHarmony ads basically guarantee that i will be matched with a compatible weirdo.
“aha!” says a smartypants, “maybe you’re so weird that there’s no one compatible with you!”
perhaps that’s true, but it’s pointless for this discussion nonetheless. you see, in my one-year, expensive-as-hell, recently expired membership at eHarmony, their vaunted, fabled, mythical, BS “matching” system (“29 dimensions” of wha wha) scraped up exactly 1,051 “matches” for me. of those, i was interested enough in about 35 of them to initiate contact. i didn’t continue any communication for more than 10 rounds, and 3 or 4 of those 35 matches closed me while we were talking.
of the remaining 1,000 or so, i was probably closed out by about 150 before i saw them (didn’t bother to look at them once closed), so maybe there was a “match” in there. but wouldn’t a “compatible” match be one that neither party closes?
for those other ~850 women, i read through every profile. junk. there wasn’t a woman in that ~850 who came near my idea of a girlfriend. stilted, predictable bleh — the usual nothingness in a hairball that would seem a joke if it weren’t verified through experience as the sort of thing that actually comes from a class of human (normal).
eHarmony’s advertising is a lie. they have no system worth getting breathless over. their “success” stories are flukes. google eHarmony a bit and you’ll find i’m not alone in this assessment. quoting one complainer: “eHarmony is the WORST. You jump through all these hoops and end up with a 62 y/o nurse’s aide from 200 miles away. That was my ‘soul mate’.” ROFL
the weird thing is that eHarmony’s personality test isn’t that bad. strange as i am, it squared my personality close enough to work with. what happened afterward is the disaster. in about 2 days i could write a program to blow their current “matching” nonsense out of the water. lotto ping-pong balls would work better. and their interface (recently “improved”) is double-plus bad. um, hello? thumbnails, dumbasses? no, dial-up users need to wait 3 minutes to download a 500kb picture funneled into a 100 pixel wide box. click on it? download a new 500kb picture of the same thing. it might be bigger, it might not. the worst part is that if you find a girl’s pic you’d like to beat off to, you’re on your way to being finished by the time all her “thumbnails” appear — forget picking one and jamming it steady. [that last part was a joke, saltypig haters (including you psycho/neurotic ex-girlfriends who read my blog, 3 of which i know for sure).]
listening to the eHarmony ads and thinking it might be nice to check out? don’t. advice: take $250 (roughly a one-year membership bilge), a stack of one-page descriptions with your pic, and go to the nearest city street corner. stop whatever women look friendly, hand them a dollar, and ask them to share your page with a woman they think might seriously be interested in you. of course, if you’re a woman reading this (ha!), flip the sexes.
quite likely, you’ll have better results with the street corner method, probably ending up dating one of the people you gave a dollar to. you’ll get married, have kids, hate each other, get divorced, and end up on skid row. the benefit is that you’ll do it to yourself much faster than eHarmony ever could.
hey, neil warren: eat me, you fruity-faced snake oil bitch. come out and box me like a man. i want my money back.
salt and pepper keywords: eHarmony class action. class action eHarmony suit. eHarmony lawsuit. sue eHarmony. class action lawsuit against eHarmony. fraud. scam. shysters. con game. con artists. ripoff. waste of money. waste of time. terrible. rude. ignorant. stupid. worthless. crap.
other eHarmony posts:
eHarmony and the da vinci coders
dating me via eHarmony
eHarmony is SUCH a great service!
eHarmony
another runaway
July 19th, 2005 at 22:01
glad to know I don’t need to bother. I’m enough of a fellow mutant to know what you are up against. Everyone in the greater WDC area that might possibly meet my base criteria, are all married already. Of those married ladies, most of them are from out of the area.
That’s a hint, there. Maryland is the wrong state for people like us.
Oh and it’s “double plus un-good”. “The purpose of the Newspeak Dictionary is to reduce the vocabulary so that even the concept of rebellion fades away” -Syme 1984
July 20th, 2005 at 03:45
damn, i’ve fucked up my newspeak again! there are some limited aspects of newspeak i like, believe it or not, such as the idea of not having so many blowhard synonyms. lately, i’m finding most writing (including some of mine) doubleplus no damn good.
when you find the right state for people like us, let me know. it sure ain’t montana. found that out directly.
July 20th, 2005 at 13:37
No matter where you go, there YOU are. So what’s wrong with Montana, anyway?
July 22nd, 2005 at 10:54
yeah. and as far as i know, i’ve never threatened to rob, imprison, or kill me for peaceful behavior.
weasels are everywhere. couldn’t believe how buttkissing people are even out west in formerly independent territory.
March 12th, 2006 at 23:28
I am Christian and probably the “type” of person that e-harmony would like to match, I still only got 4 matches total even after I paid…no additional matches. The matches I got seemed interesting but 3 closed the match before we exchanged any information, #4 never responded to any of the “guided communication”. This all happened in 6 days.
I did the so-called “7-day trial” and after 6 days of no success I decided to cancel to get my money back, they claim I never cancelled. Now I’m fighting to get my $59 back. They keep sending me emails telling me to cancel…after I already cancelled….a bunch of liars.
March 12th, 2006 at 23:57
what evidence do you have that you canceled? if you paid by credit card, have you tried a chargeback through the card company? BTW, if you don’t have their secret phone number, i recall seeing it published on some forum when googling. worth a look. they’re just churning and trying to scam people with sums too small to warrant hours of fight. word is getting out though.
March 16th, 2006 at 19:17
I had a similar problem with their 7 day trial. I clicked on an offer for the risk free trial membership and signed up for membership believing, based on the banner, which still displayed at the top, that I was getting the 7 day risk free trial and that I would be able to cancel within 7 days. When I called on the 7th day to cancel, they told me that my seven days started in 2003, because two years ago, I had a previous membership. Although these “qualifications” are in the small print on a separate page, nowhere in the process of signing up did it say, sorry you don’t qualify because you had a previous membership. Now they refuse to give me even a partial refund. I have an online store and would never engage in such slimy misleading practices. In my opinion, they are scum.
March 17th, 2006 at 04:59
typical scam behavior, hiding fine print as if it turns deception into proper behavior.
March 28th, 2006 at 16:45
Thank heavens word is getting out about eHarmony. It is a way for them to make money on vulnerable people. I tried this service after having been widowed for a couple of years. My “matches” were so much younger or older than me and there was no way for me to rein in the 20 year gap — THEY decided what age would be appropriate. I was told that I could “close” any “match” I didn’t agree with, but that still counted as a “match” on their books. (They GUARANTEE one match for every month you pay for and if they don’t come through, they give you the same amount of time for free). Well, they “dribbled” one match/month my way and it got close to the end of my membership and they hadn’t provided that last “match”. So what did they do? They altered my requirements and sent me an illiterate nut who went to a church that used SNAKES!!! Thank you for exposing this shakedown company!
March 31st, 2006 at 22:32
yea roger that, my match couldnt be more odd, on paper and initial talks we clicked, very unfortunatley upon our meeting we did the dirty deed, total mistake as i didnt fully realize her baggage, and perhaps her-mine. i pray that my lapse in judgement didnt give me something or someone. I cant tell you enough about how this girl was a complete nutbag, yet sounded like a soulmate on email. being alone isnt so bad
April 1st, 2006 at 01:21
I cant tell you enough about how this girl was a complete nutbag, yet sounded like a soulmate on email. being alone isnt so bad
oh, you don’t need to tell me — i’ve been through the fire! good luck on the exit. sometimes those psychos will drag you down for years. i learned my lesson and then some. you’re damned right that being alone isn’t so bad, considering the typical alternative. i sometimes think i should have just bit the bullet and found a good woman when the getting was good. early. or not. too late now, i think. most of the singles are deservedly so, and perhaps me as well. strange times.
April 9th, 2006 at 21:36
Great article, Salty. I got a lot of laughs out of it because a) you’re a really funny guy (and a bit of a nut IMO), and b) it’s so damn true. EHarmony isn’t just a sham, their service is an outright lie, based on supplying false hope that their personality matching system will lead you to your perfect partner. After all, with 10,000 new members joining every day*, how can you go wrong? Unfortunately, the effort it takes just to get to a point where you actually get to meet someone face to face is about the equivalent of running in an Iron Man competition blindfolded, with lead weights in tow. It’s based on a pretense that might work for some in extremely limited percentages — your partner will learn to love you for who you are on the inside not what you are on the outside, and all that lubby-dubby crap — but on the whole I’ll wager that there are many, many folks who have nothing to show for it but empty pockets and a whole lot of wasted time.
Now a little bit of my background: about two years ago, I was one of the many curious folk who hopped on the site, lured by a shit-storm of TV & radio ads to take the free personality test. I took it, saved my profile, and saw their rates… not at all worth the price. A week later, I got an email offer to join for a reduced price. I ignored it. They sent a new cut-rate offer — $160 bucks for 12 months — I finally took the bait (or plunge, if you prefer), and joined up to see what I could do in a year. My head count amounted to this: roughly 450 matches in a year (just a hair over one new match a day) — most of them dead weight that never responded in any way, a large chunk that either closed me or were closed by me because of an obvious mismatch, and handful that played the “put you on hold ’cause I’m too busy” game, and five — I’ll repeat — five eligible ladies that I actually made contact with. Two of them exchanged IM’s with me, the other three I actually talked on the phone with briefly. I never met anyone face to face, and I’d also guesstimate that the number of matches that were within a two hour drive amounted to maybe twenty or so people — I also happen to live in a reasonably large Midwest city. Naturally, I didn’t continue with the service. Here’s where my experience got ugly…
There were a few potential candidates that I had yet to hear back from, so I did what I saw several other members do, which was to post my email address in my profile, letting them know that my membership expired, contact me outside of the eHarmony vacuum if you dare…. muahh, haaaa, haaaa… This went unchecked for several weeks until I noticed a “rate our service” link, for which I was glad to tell them exactly what I thought. Here are the comments that I submitted:
— I think eHarmony needs to quit using “10,000 new members daily” in its advertising; this is extremely misleading. Even if my matches were 99.9% compatible, then it would be feasible that I should have a few dozen matches on a nationwide search every few days. But that hasn’t been the case by a long shot. Super-high compatibility rates sound great in a vacuum, but this doesn’t do me any good if I can’t even get a date after a year’s worth of effort. I would gladly have given up a few percentage points of compatibility if it meant doubling or tripling the number of ladies I had a chance to meet. Unfortunately, this service is nowhere near striking a balance between statistics and actually connecting people, so it doesn’t work for me. —
Of course, eHarmony kept right on emailing me their latest special offers, pretty much the same stock deal that they’ve been barfing at me for the past year+. 12 months for $160 did absolutely nothing for me — what the hell makes them think I’d take the bait on a $50 for 3 months deal?? Here’s the kicker: although I had posted my email address several weeks prior to my comment, THE SAME WEEK that I rated their service, I got an email saying that “during a routine search of member accounts, we’ve found that you’ve violated our terms of service by posting your email address, so your account has been suspended.” I’m still under suspension, but keep getting their discount offers (the most recent was five days ago – 4/5/06). Huh??!?
Final thoughts: 1. I think all dating sites should be required to reveal hard statistics by federal law. Number of members by region, percentage of matches, membership turnover, etc. Otherwise, sites such as eHarmony will continue to mislead customers and hide the reality “for competitive reasons.” 2. Neil Clarke is definitely a fruity-faced, snake oil-selling sumbitch. Never do business with a Christian fundamentalist**. 3. Apparently, eHarmony was cool with whatever I wanted to do with my profile, so long as I kept coughing up the dough and goose stepping to the beat of their company mission. 4. Neal Clarke and his marketing machine should be dragged into the street, hog-tied and peed on by everyone who’ve been suckered into paying for their vacuous (dis)service**. How’s that for Harmony?
*BULLSHIT: this number is a marketing ploy, and nothing more. Statistics are on my side, not eHarmony’s. Otherwise, with so many members joining daily, it would stand to reason that at 99.9% compatibility a person would get several new daily matches, or at the very least a few dozen a week (10,000 x .001 = 10).
**Just look at that face. You know he’s a closet pervert; he’ll takes a little golden shower when he can gets it.
April 9th, 2006 at 21:52
Final thoughts: 1. I think all dating sites should be required to reveal hard statistics by federal law.
well, i was pretty much with ya (not completely) until that one. what part of the constitution would that “law” be authorized under? “federal” wasn’t supposed to mean “the umbrella of really GOOD social engineering proposals”. the best solution is what’s taking place now — people complaining, getting the word out, and lawsuits if you think it’s worth the trouble.
April 10th, 2006 at 03:04
Salty, based on your other blogs I’d say you lean pretty heavily to the left, so I’m surprised that you wouldn’t favor consumer advocacy in this case. Using the Constitution as your point of contention is at the very least a flaccid argument, let alone unqualified. The Constitution says nothing about consumer rights; that’s what our judicial system and organizations like the FTC are for. Social engineering, my ass.
My point was that, one way or another, eHarmony’s advertising claims are fraudulent… either they’re not getting anywhere near the number of members that they claim, or their matching system is severely flawed. The rub is that they’re able to hide behind that big, fat stinkin’ loophole that they don’t have to disclose that information for competitive reasons, same as the other dating sites do. If there were a “rights to statistics disclosure” law, it would probably have to be federal since online dating technically falls under interstate commerce. I would agree that people complaining is the best way to get the word out, but that alone does nothing for those of us (who I still contend to be a high majority of their customers) that have bought or will buy their service based on misleading claims. Hey, you’re the one with the “class action lawsuit” keywords. What do you think led me to your blog?
http://www.answers.com/topic/false-advertising
http://www.ftc.gov/
April 10th, 2006 at 03:20
Salty, based on your other blogs I’d say you lean pretty heavily to the left,
really? based on what? being a loudmouthed gun owner?
Using the Constitution as your point of contention is at the very least a flaccid argument, let alone unqualified.
you’re trolling, and you obviously don’t know jack about the constitution, though you’re trying to cover that ignorance with bluster. i’m not fooled. < <<< read that last sentence again.
rub is that they’re able to hide behind that big, fat stinkin’ loophole that they don’t have to disclose that information for competitive reasons,
there’s no “loophole”. why is it that whenever some wannabe totalitarian can’t get his way, he calls this a “loophole”? stop it!
it would probably have to be federal since online dating technically falls under interstate commerce
no it doesn’t. if they make the law, then businesses can simply go intrastate, thereby rendering the law inapplicable to them under the constitution. further, your idea that because there’s an interstate commerce clause, anything having to do with interstate commerce comes under the purview of congress is your opinion. constitution doesn’t say it. constitution’s quite clear, however, that congress can’t “regulate” intrastate commerce. so if a national business wants to set itself up so that all its essential commerce doesn’t cross state lines, congress is out of the loop via the supreme law of the land. actively out. and yeah, i know you can do anything you want if you get enough people together who say to hell with the constitution. nobody knows that better than i do. i’m talking about real law, not mob law.
Hey, you’re the one with the “class action lawsuit” keywords. What do you think led me to your blog?
great. sue them in state court. there is no federal claim that i know of.
May 14th, 2006 at 22:32
Like everybody else,I got ripped off.
Do they consider all the religious freaks they send me,a good match?
I don’t have one word about jesus or god in my profile.Then why do they keep sending me all these kind of matchs.
All matches that they did sent me were at least 200 miles away,or they weren’t at all my type.
I’m a trim guy,so why would they match me up with someone twice my size.
The profiles of matches that they did send, don’t tell shit about them.
I don’t hardly get any more matches and I have about nine months left on my worthless membership.
After about three monthes of playing around with this loosing game,I finaliy gave up on it.
June 6th, 2006 at 01:16
Saltypig – Thanks so much for your article. I was feeling like a leper because after 2 weeks on eHarmony I have not had a single match. I realize now, based on your writings and the other comments, that this is a blessing in disguise. I should thank my lucky stars that I’m not getting “matched” with freaks and nutcases. I consider my non-compatibleness a testament to my normalcy. I so needed a laugh tonite and I’m really glad I my google search led me to you. Best of luck and thanks again!
June 6th, 2006 at 01:27
I was feeling like a leper because after 2 weeks on eHarmony I have not had a single match.
yeah, you’re probably better off that way.
I consider my non-compatibleness a testament to my normalcy.
don’t know about that, and i’ve never been a fan of normal people. but if it works for you, good. stick it to those bastards, in any case.
June 18th, 2006 at 15:49
eharmony should be sued for misrepresentation. They enticed me to rejoin by sending e-mails of all these men that wanted to me me. So I rejoined believing ,as advertised, that there would be a money-back period. After 2 days I realized that all these interested men closed commuication with me because I had not responded to their inquiries (wish occured after I was not longer a member0. This tells me that e harmony was using my profile as an enticement for men to sign up and, conversely, was doing the same in reverse to me. I wrote a letter requesting a full refund, citing the above reasons and received a reply that failed to address my claims and a refusal to refund my money. They need to be stopped BIG TIME thru class action suit. Any lawyers out there who want to take them on?
June 19th, 2006 at 17:15
don’t forget the chargeback route, if you used a credit card. if you have record of a money-back offer, that should be fine.
June 21st, 2006 at 08:04
Hi Salty,
I TOTALY AGREE with you!!! I live in the nashville area. and here in nashville all I’ve run into from eharmony are gold diggers but yet that putz Clark says “find the love of your dreams” I’ve found some FREE services that do a BETTER job at screening people than eharmony..
June 21st, 2006 at 09:08
keep spreading the word. the market will get those lousy bastards.
July 29th, 2006 at 14:48
My subscription expired two months ago. Nonetheless, eharmony continues to match me with others, sending me continual emails–14 so far–with the good news that they have found the love of my life for me.
Not only is this unfair to the people who thought they were being matched with a current subscriber, but it also makes me wonder how many of the people to whom I was matched, while I was a paying subscriber, were in fact inactive.
Shame, shame, shame.
PS: I found your blog by googling “eharmony is bullshit.” Why didn’t I think to do this before I subscribed?
July 29th, 2006 at 17:10
yep. most of those names were just sitting there, scamming away.
on the “xxxx is bullshit” search, i suppose there will eventually be a standard flag for criticism of companies, or negative/positive stuff about anything. for now, “xxxx sucks” is usually a good start, along with xxxxxx and scam, etc.
just the other night i learned enough about something (with a “scam” search) to avoid it.
August 13th, 2006 at 14:59
I am very surprised but at the same time relieved to read that I am not alone. My experience with E-Harmony has been devastating to me. I had high hopes going in. Immediately got one, then two matches, but then they immediately closed or put me on hold, or decided to take a break. One match claimed he put me on hold because I didn’t have a picture posted. This is when I became suspicious that something was wrong. I went back to check my picture, to find out that my membership expired. I renewed my subscription, found out that my picture was in fact posted. Then I remember specifically feeling that something was wrong because just a couple of days into the membership, I posted my picture. Three days later, I received an e-mail encouraging me to post a picture which would dramatically increase my success. I was slightly disturbed, because I felt that my profile wasn’t being considered as an individual, but rather these e-mails were automatically generated after specific number of days. Every week something new made me feel leery of this system. I had few responses, when they came they all came at once, a week before me memberhsip was to expire. I suppose this is the other side of living in a democratic capitalist society that we are not informed about.
August 20th, 2006 at 10:41
I too was “dissapointed” in my 6 months with not ONE date. I got maybe 2 matches a week (at best) and almost all citied God or their Faith in their profile while I described myself essentially as a heathen. Most of my matches were Asian or Arab men which I began receiving after loostening my preferences (Im not bigot, but I happen to be attracted to white men, and as a cultural Jew, I prefer neutral religious affiliations) I’d say more than 1/2 closed my match before I even saw them and of the maybe 50 men who wrote me (Im being very liberal with that #) only 1 got past the initial discussion steps and he closed our match after a week because I didn’t call him or give him my phone #. There was only one “match” where the profile and picture got me hopeful, but that one never responded to my request to communicate, he probably just took the free test and bailed.
I DO know a gal who got married to one of her EH Dates. First off, she was an alcoholic slut who had no trouble landing 3 guys a week without the service. She turned 40 and began sobbing that she didn’t have a kid (and this after 2 marriages where she cheated within a couple of years). She got 450 matches her first month (I got maybe 25) and went on a LOT of dates. I lost contact with her after she moved in with the dude she decided was “the one,” and they got married within a year of meeting. I met him once (of course after I’d been instructed to lie about her past if certain subjects came up) and couldn’t help but wonder if he knew what he was getting into…and also, if they were so compatible, what the skeletons in his closet might be. I wish them luck.
September 15th, 2006 at 19:56
Thank you so much for posting this it really helped from making a huge mistake.
I thought about signing up to E-Harmony, but did some research first (today) on how “GOOD” the site was as the commercial claims (or how much of a scam it really was), Doing that I found your site.
From reading the comments on this entry I agree. E-Harmony needs to cut the crap they’re trying to pull on the public. Including to neglect in refunding their customers.
In truth they’re only hurting themselves in the form of nice big lawsuit and possible jail time.
September 16th, 2006 at 10:04
Apparantly I’m one of the luckier victims of eHarmony. I got in with a pretty good deal of 12.95 a month and stayed on for 2 years. Then eventually they introduced me to a girl who was a whole lot like me. We really did have a lot in common so I actually flew to meet her. But there was absolutely no chemistry between us. She was attractive enough, and I’m an attractive fellow too. But the chemistry did not exist. It was a total waste of 6 months. And the thing is that I was about to quit. Meeting her kept me on for another year. I’m such a sucker.
Eharmony claims to match you on all of the conditions that count. But they don’t mention that they absolutely REFUSE to match you with the FIRST thing that matters to most people: Appearance. Why? Most people are too ugly to get anywhere on any other dating website. It seems to me that they purposefully match people opposite of their looks.
Eharmony is a huuuge scam. It appeals so much to Women because it seems scientific in approach. Women take it far more seriously than men. Their whole system is geared to Women. eHarmony encourages people to close each other because if you think that someone will still communicate with you, you will wait a few days to look for someone else. Women are more likely to close matches I think because of the percieved danger of having an anonymous person “stalk” you. I think it’s absolutely stuuuupid to close matches. But I digress…
eHarmony needs to be sued for 3 reasons. They manipulate the results. They send you 5 matches at a time. I don’t remember ever reading that they would do that. I have never ever in all of my years of being a member received 6 matches in one day.
They don’t send you matches the moment they become available. They don’t send them to you every day either. By dishing out the matches over a long time they keep you as a member longer. I have communicated with S.E.V.E.R.A.L “new” matches who were about to quit eharmony. I’d been a member for a long time too. eHarmony should have matched us months ago, but they waited. Indeed, eharmony’s mission is not to match people. It is to make money.
eharmony lies about the reasons people put for closing. At one time, every single one of my hundreds of matches that closed me has as her reason “I’m taking a break from my search for a while, but may be interested in communicating more in the future.” I called eharmony on it. I just knew that this was statistically impossible. They denied that they change the answers. Now mysteriously the girls answers a lot more random.
I haven’t been a member since January 2005 so they offered a “free communication” weekend. pfft. I couldn’t communicate if I wanted to . All of my matches are closed. I am absolutely convinced that eHarmony closed all of my existing matches themselves. If I find 10 matches closed at the same time I am going to sue.
eharmony is a fraud.
September 27th, 2006 at 15:00
I agree with the previous posts. I’ve been a member for about 8 months now on my 1-year membership. The first month i got maybe 5-10 matches per week, and then it quickly dwindled to 1-2 a week. Of those matches maybe only 20% had a picture posted, 20% of those with pictures were even remotely attractive, and of those 50% seemed somewhat date-able. Most of those never responded to my guided communication, so i’m not convinced they were even active members after reading through these posts.
Call me shallow if you like, but looks are important to any perspective longer-term relationship. Without a picture there is very little way to differentiate between profiles aside from location and occupation. EH: What’s important to you? Response: Friends and family. EH: Things you can’t live without? Response: my cell phone, chocolate, diet coke, etc. EH: Things you’ll notice about me? Response: my smile. And on, and on, and on…
I’m not saying that i expect the person to be creative through the entire multi-hour survey, but at least ask some questions that are relevant. Do you want to see people without pics? How much do you weigh? Would you be up for driving two hours to go on a date? Are you a city or suburbs person?
From a guy’s perspective it does seem like it’s geared more toward women. Maybe that’s because women, in general, need a little more reassurance when it comes to being matched with random guys with no one to vouch for them. It’s kind of hard to trigger that emotional attraction for women through a profile, whereas guys see a pretty face across the room and are immediately gaw-gaw. Just my opinion, but would be interested to hear what others have to say.
Anyway, EH sucks and is a complete waste of my money and time. If anyone has the balls to file a class-action, please post info here so i can join in. In the meantime, I’m going back to the bar scene where at least i know the person exists. Good luck to everyone!!!
September 27th, 2006 at 16:44
My god, I had the 7-day “risk free” scam on me too…I’m sending a letter detailing this to my Attorney General. I’m not kidding. They’re ridiculous. I hate them. I have done Match.com and yahoo personals with MUCH more success than this bullshit service.
September 27th, 2006 at 22:17
Ok, i just erased my profile and used the space to warn people about eHarmony. We’ll see how long it takes for them to suspend my account. What do i have to lose at this point? I’ve only gotten one decent match in the last 6 months. What’s that old saying – stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. I’m FastTracking anyone who lives in my area with a decent photo and profile. At least i may make some new friends who are interested in sharing their scam story over a beer, right?
October 9th, 2006 at 11:28
This may sound really pathetic but i landed squarely in that 20% that they cant match….. is this because im scary and psycho… maybe… or maybe its because i have a uniqe personality… who knows but eharmony is a load of crap….
October 22nd, 2006 at 02:52
I have an eHarmony user for close to 1 year. The website is suck a bunch of crock. And their survey is bullshit also. When I first joined and took the test, they said they could match me no problem and sent me all these matches that didn’t answer or were “male-like” women.
Being the curious person, I wondered what the hell was going on. So last week I retook the test. Everything showed up the same in my profile. Yet they said they couldn’t match me this time! My matches are close to 0 a week (I usually get 1… without a picture and never responds).
Don’t join! Go to Yahoo or Match instead.
November 25th, 2006 at 12:18
OK–this is HILARIOUS! My Eharmony account expires in 3 days. I have had 1 date in 1 year on the service and recently wrote them a feedback letter letting them know why I think the service is sub par (very few matches come through and many of the matches are closed before I even see them.). Not only am I suddenly getting 10 matches a week where before I was getting around 1, today I was matched with a famous baseball player. I cant imagine why anyone would waste $$ to put up a fake account, but there is no way this is really the guy (the photos are press pix). I just find it bizarre timing to get this rich, hunka-hunka match as my account teeters on the brink of cancelation.
November 25th, 2006 at 18:12
thanks to all for your comments. though i don’t have much more to say on this subject, i encourage you to continue to use this thread to document your interaction with the scammers at eHarmony. i read every comment, as do others.
December 13th, 2006 at 12:16
Scammed by eHarmony:
I was solicited by email from eHarmony stating several men were trying to contact me. I signed up for the 7-Day free trial, they billed my credit card $59.85 on Nov.2, I cancelled on Nov.3, but they refuse to credit my account despite their own contract which states: “You may cancel the agreement without penalty or obligation at any time prior to the third business day – excluding weekends/holidays..”. eHarmony has not refunded my money. Sue them or turn them in to the Better Bs. Bureau at: http://www.labbb.org Their “secret address” is: Neil Clark Warren & Associates, LLC, 300 North Lake Ave., Ste. 1111, Pasadena, CA 91101-4123 Phone: 626-795-4814. Business ID 199510110007. eHarmony.com is not listed as a business entity in California. Wonder why??? I encourage all who have been defrauded to turn them in to the authorities. Their promises and solicitations are fraudulent.
December 15th, 2006 at 10:15
Eharmony is pure Bullshit. I got all these matches and about half of them closed the matches again like you said lame excuses. Like they were real prizes anyways. I hope people read this site and realize what a joke Eharmony is. Neil Warren sucks ass!
January 15th, 2007 at 15:34
Mahalo (thank you) for this info regarding eHarmony. Wish I researched before signing up for one month. I have 4 matches in Kauai – approximately 10-15 on all islands. Received lame excuses about location being too far! The site wouldn’t let me cancel but mysteriously it worked 7 days after payment posted to my credit card and now they mentioned that it’s too late! Spoke with customer service they told me I limited myself by not checking off religious. When I asked to speak to supervisor it took me to a message only center. eHarmony sucks and I will file a complaint.
January 15th, 2007 at 15:39
I no longer wonder how they can aford all those ads! Their website misrepresents the billing process.
January 30th, 2007 at 22:00
I’m trying to cancel my eHarmony account by following their close my account instructions:
Question
How do I close my account?
Answer
Closing your eHarmony account is easy, but it’s important that you follow these simple steps.
All eHarmony accounts are closed via our website. Sending an e-mail requesting an account closure and/or refund will only delay our response to you. Please help us help you by following our online account closure procedure:
* Log into your account at http://www.eharmony.com
* Select the “My Settings” link at the top of the page
* Click the “Account Settings” subheading
* Click the “Close Account” link at the bottom of the page to begin the process of closing your account
First you will see a page that contains some important facts to consider when closing your account. At the bottom of this page you may click the “Close” button and proceed to the final account closure page.
Please Note: Non-Subscribed Members will be served an automated account close button. Click that button and your account will be closed, your matches will be closed and you will receive an onscreen confirmation.
AND
Question
How do I cancel my subscription?
Answer
Clicking the “Cancel My Subscription” link turns off the auto-renew, so that there will be no renewal charges. You’ll still be able to communicate with and view photos of your matches until your membership expires at the end of its term.
To cancel your subscription:
1. Log into your account at http://www.eharmony.com
2. Select the “My Settings” link at the top of the page
3. Click the “Account Settings” subheading
4. Click the “Cancel My Subscription” link at the bottom of the page to begin the cancellation process
First you will answer a few questions about your experience with eHarmony. At the end of this process, you may click the “Cancel My Subscription” button, and you’ll be taken to a cancellation confirmation page. If, at any time during the process, you should change your mind and decide that you don’t want to cancel your subscription, you can return to your account by clicking the “Return to Account Settings” page.
Please note: members with a current multi-payment subscription can cancel their memberships after the third and final installment has been completed.
I know that the “Cancel My Subscription” link was available on the page when I signed up. However, it’s nowhere to be found right now! I have about three weeks before they are due to charge my credit card.
I wonder if I can call my credit card company and explain what’s going on. I just wonder, though, if eHarmony will then send me to collections.
Has anyone with the 3-month plan been able to successfully cancel? If so, what steps did you take?
March 12th, 2007 at 14:09
Well, at least I didn’t have the ongoing problems that others have had. I filled out the free profile, and the system came back with “since you’re seeking a same-sex partner, we can’t help you.” They couldn’t really do any follow-up after that, and the less corporate spam I get, the better.
June 5th, 2007 at 19:51
Well cuz….
I would have agreed with you on all points…eharmony is difficult, if not ridiculous, and I never would have spent my own hard-earned dough on a membership. However…one of my cousins, who was tired of me spending all my spare time alone, bought a membership for me. I have to admit, through all my skeptisism, I met several great women through eharmony… including (drumroll please) my wife!! I’m now 40 years old, never married, and believed I would never find someone compatible with my mutations, but I was wrong. I dated a dozen really super gals from eharmony from all over the country. (I work online so I’m free to move around) I married the best one…she’s just as wierd as I am, and I relocated to AZ. She’s from Long Beach, but spent 20+ years in New York. My advice: join eharmony, and be completely honest about who you are and what you want. That’s what I did. I figured: what the hell…It was free! So I was brutally honest about who I am, what I do for a living (I work as a porn artist), and what I was looking for in a woman. All the women I corresponded with were okay with all of that. I started seeing a few in person, in CA, WA, FL, TN, TX, IL, and AZ, and they were all wonderful. I’m still friends with a couple of them, and value the time I spent with each and every one.
July 27th, 2007 at 16:20
After moving to a new place it has become pretty hard to get laid recently, I use to have 2 fuck buddies around so even if I don’t pick up a chick in the bar, one of them was would always be over. A friend of mine suggested E Harmony, he’s on his 3rd chick now so I don’t really mind giving it a shot.
Since the day I signed up for this I receive 12 to 13 matches a day, 2 of them would close before I communicate, rest of them would not respond…
I mean, I do understand the comfort level these people need before they go out and stuff, and I really never believed in online dating to start with… But people has been so flakey lately (I’ve gotten 14 numbers in 30 days and only 2 of them responds, with ‘I don’t really give a fuck about meeting you again kind of attitude’) it has become really hard to meet real people. So I thought this might be a good idea since they won’t flake as much.
I’ve only signed up for a week, nothing is happening yet…other than like 100 chicks around my profile either I closed them or they closed me, or the ones that never responds. We’ll see what happens =)
Since the day I signed up for this I receive 12 to 13 matches a day, 2 of them would close before I communicate, rest of them would not respond…
I mean, I do understand the comfort level these people need before they go out and stuff, and I really never believed in online dating to start with… People has been so flakey (I’ve gotten 14 numbers in 30 days and only 2 of them responds, with ‘i dont really give a fuck about meeting you again kind of attitute’) it has become really hard to meet real people
July 28th, 2007 at 01:07
if all you want is to get laid, there are many sites far better (and cheaper) than eHarmony.
August 19th, 2007 at 07:04
It sure seems like there’s an awful lot of eHarmony haters out there. I think the keys to success on using this or any other internet dating site are; 1)be COMPLETELY honest when describing yourself and the attributes you are seeking in a partner, 2)be PATIENT, 3)have realistic expectations with regards to the number of potential compatible matches & their location, and 4)be wiling to put a lot of time & effort into the process. This isn’t a magic fix for lonely hearts, folks. Although I initially was somewhat disappointed with the eHarmony matching process, I continued to fine tune my “about me” info(I must have updated/altered it at least 20 or 30 times) using words &/or phrases I saw on the profiles of my matches , and once I did, both the quantity and compatibility level of women who responded and requested communication with me increased dramatically. I EVENTUALLY met the woman of my dreams, but was a LONG and somewhat convoluted process. Once again, PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE! I had to weed through a LOT(approx. 500) of non-compatible women, and invest a LOT of time & effort(not to mention about $200) in the process, but considering the pay-off, I feel in was possibly the best investment of money & time I ever made.
August 19th, 2007 at 10:43
humboldt, you’re a goddamned oaf. and not only are you an oaf; you’re an oaf who presumes he knows something others don’t, and should admonish. the worst sort.
those oh so helpful “tips” you include are as applicable at any site — plenty of which don’t charge over $200/yr, have next-to-worthless interfaces, and spill mountains of bullshit about scientific compatibility analysis. in one medium-sized but thoroughly nauseating paragraph, you’ve written the full denouncement of every piece of hyped up marketing tripe eHarmony’s offered. and you think you’re defending them; that’s the fun bit.
imagine, if you’re able, that you hadn’t met this supposedly great match in the hit/miss jungle you admit yourself eHarmony is. what you’re discussing is not the culmination of a superior method on eHarmony’s part, but the natural result of yapping to enough fuckers in a barrel. you finally ran into someone, and you credit not standard luck and volume, but your sagacious fostering of the lottery facility provided by the great and all knowing eHarmony. dilbert, take that instructor patch off your shoulder, shove it up your ass, then pay real attention to what others have written. or just fuck off.
September 6th, 2007 at 20:01
Thank you for all the comments, y’all really save my money. I just deleted my account with EH prior to give them my credit card number. People who get the mails from EH should read these comments.
September 7th, 2007 at 09:56
I managed to get them to delete my account by intentionally violating their TERMS AND CONDITIONS. I changed my occupation to an email address and they emailed me telling me I was in violation and asked me to change it or risk having my account suspended. I wrote back telling them the “mistake” was intentional so they would cancel the account. A few hours later, the account had indeed been canceled!
September 16th, 2007 at 13:57
Have you ever noticed how on the E-Harmony commercials, all the couples look like one another?
September 19th, 2007 at 22:43
Boy oh boy, all of you have hit the preverbial nail on the head when it comes to eharmony: A
HUGE scam, it’s a money making shiester of a sceme.
Thankfully, now there are commercials that are putting out the truth about eharmony; if you’re gay, you’re out, if you’re not happy enough; you’re out. What the freak is up with that? What if there’s someone out there that’s not happy right along with you?
The cost of this “so called service” is outrageous for one, and from reading what you’ve all experienced personally, not much in the way of a match.
Personally, there is no way in hell I’d put myself out there publically with all my habits, lifestyle, personal thinking, F THAT! I’m a private person and people that have gone through the 400 or whatever questions, at the end, they are rejected. What the hell is that all about?????
I’ve done all the match dot coms and several others. Let me just say, this is not the way to go. I got every Quasimoto this side of the Mississippi. I never go out, well rarely except to concerts, so my hope of meeting a mate is pretty much hopeless.
However, if there is a good man in the PA area, my page is: http://www.myspace.com/theoriginalsongbird
Best wishes and hopes to all
September 23rd, 2007 at 18:11
I really wish I had read this before I tried out eHarmony. Word needs to get out that they are total crap. “Everlasting Love” my ass. I didn’t get a single date from them and meanwhile I had my profile up on a free site and got loads of dates and met a new boyfriend.
September 27th, 2007 at 02:46
Hey salty pig,
I’m 47 real years, but could pass for much younger. I too am weird and unsuitable for eharmony, because I used the term “asshole” to describe my x boyfriend who led me on for 6 1/2 years until he inherited 2.4 million dollars. He is still trying to play games with me.
I just want a connection or my damn money back. It just makes my blood boil that I keep getting the run around. I can date easily enough without a site, but this would be great if it really worked and I could find someone in preferably the Northwest near Tacoma or Portland near my adult kids. I just want someone who won’t yell at me or treat me poorly and has a hairy chest. Is that too much to ask for.
My kids are all happy I am finally moving on with searching for a new relationship /marriage till death us do part this time. It has been a year since they took my money and cancelled me 3 weeks later. I have yet to get either.
ChristyJohns@hotmail.com I would file with the BBB, but I cant find out what state they are in. If you know the state please drop me an email. I looked quickly on yellow pages.com with no luck. However, I have a month of messages to clear after vacation and don’t have allot of time to dig further. Wishing you love and luck.
September 27th, 2007 at 03:25
because I used the term “asshole” to describe my x boyfriend
that’s why they canceled you?
I just want someone who won’t yell at me or treat me poorly
sorry for being immediately direct, but if guys are yelling at you and treating you poorly, that might be exactly what you want, down where it counts. only girls i ever yelled at, i left. they came after me. strange how that works. sound familiar, or am i barking in the wrong forest?
cant find out what state they are in
eHarmony.Com
888 E Walnut St
Pasadena, CA 91101
(626) 795-4814
October 23rd, 2007 at 07:56
eHarmony is a money making machine that instaed of matching like charakters, it matches totally incomatible people that after first date it is visible that they have nothing in common.
Even worse, girls (YES, 30+ year old girls) I meet are full of complexes, immature, far away from an average person’s politness.
I’m not angry, but believe me, eharmony matches think they are better, and try to treat me like a piece of useless garbage because they did not feel some king if the “vibe”. OK, they have right not to be attrated to me but
I’m still a person who happen to have feelings, and I’m not a stupid teenager but mature 32,
almost 33 year old man, who I think deserves some respect.
I’m disappointed with
this eharmony website who draws not very accurate person’s profile. I just canceled
this devilish account who brings me more disappointment than happiness. All matches are total mismatches, although it seemed to be so beautiful at the beginning.
What happen to the compatibility?
One can say that I’m a negative right now but believe me or not, I’m very positive person.
Some of my friends are saying that
I’m the most positive person they met, but there are moments that maybe a saint would lose temper, especially when I’m treated with disrespect, with no gratuity whatsoever.
November 14th, 2007 at 12:31
E-Harmony is a joke!! Don’t buy into those stupid commercials regarding E-Harmony matches with Dr. Neil Warren Phd., that are on TV! The matches are the same bullshit. I was on the site for a short time and got matched up with a bunch of losers! One was a professional con-artist as well.
Dr. Neil Warren (the ‘Orville Redenbacher’ look alike), should be in jail for his scammer website. Maybe he should get his head examined!! Oh! that’s right he mastered the plan being a Phd. for creating E-Harmony.
DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY TO MAKE THIS GUY A BILLIONARE..
December 7th, 2007 at 15:24
This is all very interesting! I was thinking to myself “I wonder if E Harmony actually does what they say?” I typed it in the search engine and came upon this blog. thanks people who shared your experience to save someone else the heartache.
January 6th, 2008 at 17:54
Wonderful blog regarding the joke that is eHarmony. Save your money. I’ve been a member for a month, and 1 girl (a convenient 2,000 miles away) has been my only responsive contact. Approximately 300 matches in the last month (gotta love the holiday blues) of which about 10% were interesting. Of those who seem serious and interesting, less than 20% of those live anywhere near me. (for those doing the math, thats less than 6 out of 300 matches live near me AND are interesting) And finally, of those ~6 matches, none have responded to communication.
As for the rest… I’ve never seen such a parade of fat ugo’s in my life!
January 17th, 2008 at 21:54
With the way they market themselves you assume that at the very least, you are going to be engaged in several lively, involved exchanges with extremely compatible like-minded people.
Out of over 500 matches in 6 months I bought the hype. Especially since I had to wait around for their system to find me those super compatible matches, rather than allow me to look through the profiles and pick for myself.
Imagine my surprise when I got a bunch of dull ego maniacs, or matches on the rebound, still reeling and angry from their recent break ups. They couldn’t weed those out after a 45 minute questionaire???
Many were closed on me. Many were closed by me. Only a handful made it all the way to email exchanges. Only one made it to the phone. None turned into an actual date.
I totally agree with you. Eharmony completely sucks. If for nothing else, they have become notorious for duping people with that “free trial” BS.
June 7th, 2010 at 10:26
So I spend several hours filling out all the questionnaires. At the end, they have showed me about 7 profiles, but I wasn’t able see photos or send messages. Sign of a scam. I thought OK, since I have seen so many adds from them, maybe I should pay for a month of membership and see how it works, although I don’t trust those kind of web sites, the web is full with scam stories, but then I have discovered that you have to pay for at least 3 month!!! When I wrote about my concerns to their customer services they offered me a BIG discount, to pay them around $60 for 3 month. Well, to me it is a another flag for scam. Thankfully I did not paid and made some research on the web and I have discovered that after you pay, all your matches will be “not-very-attractive-type ones” and plain “ugly” or from far away.
I guess they are good in physiology, one spends so much time on creating a profile, it would be much harder to cancel it, and easier to pay. So they will continue rip off $ millions from desperate man.
August 7th, 2010 at 23:37
Fuck eHarmony and everything about it. It was the worst dating site I have ever been on ever and it costed an arm and a leg.
I didn’t get a single date out of it and that’s a first of all of the dozens of sites I have been to.
Not only does everything about it suck but it kept on trying to hook me up with 50 yr old men when I am in my early 30′s.
Are you kidding me?!?!?! Can’t I set an age limit based on my 29 measures of compatibility wa wa wa…
The only matches I got were looser jock dudes with a prize picture of them holding a fucking fish they caught.
Who wants to date that guy!?!?!? That was the ONLY guy on the fucking site. all 500 of them…
eHarmony should be wiped off the face of the internet map.
Why is it that draconian overlords rule the face of America….
Seriously!
Fuck this corporate christian crap of a site!