crossed to the other side
been putting off saying anything about this, just because i find the word describing what i’ve become so revolting. the word is…
vegan.
might write an article about it eventually, because it was illuminating to recognize completely that i’d been practicing, albeit with animals instead of people, some of the same style dogged denial of distributed action by proxy that i’ve long decried in socialists. technically, i’m not what most people would call vegan, in that i don’t necessarily oppose the killing of animals. what i oppose is cruelty toward animals. so unless i have good evidence that an animal product i’m using didn’t involve cruelty or maltreatment, my diet’s as vegan as it gets (without going into 100% crazy sherlock holmes mode, which i’ll touch on a bit below). since i’ve no immediate plans to buy animal products regardless of source, it’ll likely remain so until acceptable, verifiable sources go mainstream (assuming i don’t go hunting). long time.
it had been coming for a while, but the full realization and decision arrived on march 1st — 4 weeks ago. i heard somebody use the word veal, and decided to research the subject. what i learned sickened me, and brought up the question that finally put the kibosh on my vigorous and indiscriminate hiring of animal products: how could i encourage a treatment of animals that i’d never allow myself to perform? not only would i refuse to do what’s done routinely at factory farms, but if someone in my presence treated animals that way, there’d be a confrontation. and i was paying for this barbarism? i was hiring these career brutes? no, it’s over. if i can’t verify with reasonable assuredness that animals who provide products i use were treated well and, if killed, killed with respect, i’ll have none of it.
was damned rare lately for me to have a meal that didn’t include at least a quarter pound of meat. sometimes i’d go to a restaurant and order multiple meat dishes, totaling about a pound and half of meat (usually beef or chicken). one of my favorite meals was to pop into a pizza restaurant, order the large (even a sicilian) with beef, then just sit there pounding slices until most of it was gone. sometimes i’d eat it all. so given that history, i was expecting the transition away from animal products to be rough, even though necessary. sitting down to a meal of just salad wasn’t something i did more than once or twice a year.
oddly, i’ve been doing fine. some of my meals haven’t been strictly vegan, because i’m using up items bought before this month — mainly butter, cheese, and mayonnaise. ideally, i’d give those to a non-vegan, to reduce the amount they purchase. but all 3 were open, and i didn’t feel like asking somebody to consider taking something i’d never take from anybody. still, when those are all gone (cheese is long gone, and the mayo almost), it won’t be a big deal. what will sustain my choice is what started the choice: i simply think of doing myself what i’ve seen done. i picture an animal near me. by not partaking, i’m lessening the brutality that was truly in my name.
have found plenty of alternate foods, though not easily. most of my time at the grocery store early on was spent picking up products, reading the labels, and putting them back. even last night i did that with about 3 items. still learning. it’s important though for vegans to not treat animal products as if they’re poison. for example, if i’m in a rare situation where i’ve been given non-vegan food that will be thrown away if i don’t eat it, i’m not helping animals by not eating it. haven’t run into that yet, but it’s easy when all food searches are strenuous exercises in avoiding animal products to get a somewhat militaristic aversion to animal products that could, in cases as noted, border on neurosis. animals are not people, and certainly are not above people generally. sad that if i had to choose between an animal and a human, some of the first to lose would be in PETA — the very group often accused of making that choice.
despite the increasing brutality against humans — often by PETA type socialist assholes — concern, or at least lip service, for animals is growing. it’s not why i joined the “movement”, but after years of being on the losing end espousing liberty for humans, it’s nice to be part of something growing in line with my belief. oh, except for the socialist assholes blabbering about how humane they are while in the same breath insisting (usually through denial) that peaceful “tax protesters” should be attacked, jailed, raped, and so on for not kowtowing to pet causes (often illegal, though that hardly matters). just read this article describing supposed efforts by burger king to reduce animal cruelty; encouraging, though i’m skeptical.
probably the most depressing moment in my too short vegan career was in the first few days, when i went to a favored bar, sat down, and went through the menu looking for food with no animal products. found nothing. yeah, i could order a salad without the chicken, but they wouldn’t reduce the price. the bartender came over to ask what i wanted, and i just mumbled something about reading the menu, and i might not be eating there, thanks. ugh. i left, taking a paper menu on the way out. read it in the car, but same story. nothing.
next depressing incident was finding through a vegan directory a natural food store and deli sorta near me. for days i looked forward to visiting, and finally the timing worked out. i go in there, thinking i’ll be surrounded by vegan pukes who understand how frustrating it is finding a restaurant. nope. they had two vegan items on the deli menu, neither of which floated my boat. the rest of the store was whacko incense-style “holistic” bullshit with tons of animal products on the shelves and in the coolers. oh, but they were of the great god organica. ha! notice to all spewers of “organic”: fuck yourselves. what a misleading, worthless word. and i’ve noticed in vegan circles that some people use the term as if it’s the same as vegan. obviously not.
if you want to find out all the details and dead ends of shopping and eating vegan, google will get you plenty. it’s probably impossible to guarantee a 100% vegan diet, but you can get very close. just takes learning a bunch of stuff. for example, is ketchup vegan? i sat at a restaurant looking at the label for 5 minutes, wondering whether i could eat some. gets tough, because strict veganism is more than just assuming the best. if a label says “sugar”, apparently that could mean sugar that’s been processed using bone char.
similarly, french fries may sound vegan, but then you get into what kind of oil was used, or whether an animal-based flavor was applied. you’ve probably heard about the controversy (and lawsuit, i recall) between mcdonald’s and at least one irate indian customer.
one thing gets me angry as i write this; i’d like to slap some of those loudmouthed motherfuckers in the liberty circuit who, in the usual, disgusting overreact routine, blabber on and on and revel about how great they supposedly are for being unapologetic omnivores. if you’re humberto fontova and get a significant amount of meat from direct and respectful hunting (clean kills), great. however, if you’re nothing but a poser who shoves meat in her mouth without examining the source, you’re only one notch up from the socialistic dreck you complain about. worse, some of these “i love meat meat meat meat meat!” shouters claim to be animal lovers. no, you can’t be an animal lover and support factory farming, unless you’ve done some seriously psychotic brain portioning to enable a side of pure denial accompanying every portion.
much as i hate PETA, i do thank them for the videos and pictures showing the real side of factory farming, and for at least making noise on the subject. it’s what tipped the balance for me, fucking my denial into the dumpster. it won’t return. if you’re in the position i was, knowing you’ll eventually have to face the truth, you may as well get it over with. i cringe to think of the years i spent handing over money to callous DNA stacks who think nothing of instilling the worst sort of fear in millions of animals, and causing untold pain. it’s only “necessary” if competing in a market where the customers are uncritical, hypocritical sods. what’s done for eggs alone is enough to make me sick to my stomach.
my first plan upon going vegan was to find a local, humane farmer who’d either let me kill/milk the animal myself or demonstrate his respect for me to certify. i seriously figured i couldn’t go more than a week without meat (and dairy — ice cream was a favorite gluttony item, with pizza being almost as essential as blood). strangely, by the time i got around to looking for a truly free range farm and respectful slaughterhouse, my insatiable appetite had dissipated, almost to disappearing.
yeah, if i drive by a sushi place while hungry, it’s tempting to go in and delude myself that the fish likely aren’t farm animals. but then i think of them flopping around on deck, in apparent agony then stupor. i don’t agree that fish have no feelings, and while i don’t place animals on the same level as me, it comes back to the same thing i mentioned at the beginning; if i’d refuse to treat an animal that way myself, i can’t pay somebody else to do it.
yeah, i’ll eventually hunt again, but when i do, i’ll have prepared much better than i did for my first deer hunt, when through disgusting callousness and rushed sloppiness i left this deer wounded and panicked for over an hour. all it would have taken was another 3 seconds to steady up my shot. i was more interested in seeing… well, i won’t get into what i was doing. it was just stupid and embarrassingly newbie; should have practiced rifle shooting the way i did shotgun shooting, not sitting 600 yards away with a protractor and a bench rest.
blah blah blah. i could talk about this for hours. not trying to shove veganism (or whatever you want to call it) down your throat. i do encourage you, however, to look into how your purchases affect the world. while you may not be the kind of person who’d mistreat an animal, there are many out there who have careers doing nothing but. i helped them flourish.
NOTE
all converting to veganism (or thinking about it) should look into supplements for at least vitamin B12. i’ll have to hit those soon. i won’t, however, be clamoring for simulated animal products (tofurky, etc.), a practice of many vegans i find borderline crackers.
last thing: any of you “vegetarian” posers implying you’re great humanitarians because you “don’t eat red meat” (whatever the fuck that means and why), fuck you. what a crock. yeah, the words vegetarian and vegan are both inappropriate or stupid, but calling yourself vegetarian because you don’t eat cow, that’s just retarded, and misleading as hell. did i say “fuck you” yet?
March 28th, 2007 at 14:53
You might consider Hedgebrook Farm in Winchester (http://www.hedgebrook.com/) where you can own your own “share of a cow” and get raw milk each week. Much healthier anyway and delicious (but expensive). You can visit and see it all by staying in the awesome cabin on their property, or just visiting for a few hours. I am honestly not sure of all of their policies regarding treatment of animals, or slaughter (which they do and they also sell hamburger to shareholders), but from what I know, Miss Kitty, the farmer, treats her animals with what some people would say is laughable respect. A funny story I was told is that when the cows come in to milk, sometimes another cow has taken their favorite spot. She “allows” this and doesn’t force the cow into any open stall, but just does more rounds of milking, which takes her more time, but doesn’t put undue stress on the cow, who likes her routine. Anyway, I am not certain it would meet your needs, but I think it might.
March 28th, 2007 at 15:18
The more I read about factory farming, the less I like it. I still eat meat, however.
I have tried a meatless diet, but I just do not feel well or have the energy I get from this protein. Maybe I will try it again.
That being said, it is hard to be an animal lover (I have 4 cats I’ve rescued) and still eat meat.
March 28th, 2007 at 15:34
thanks very much. i checked out their web site and it looks like that’s exactly the sort of place i’d consider ideal, and well worth the higher prices. doing okay without animal products now, but i’ll consider making the trip out to winchester if that changes. would like to at least go for one of their farm tours next fall.
met a woman in a virginia bar a few months ago. a rare anti-government find, she said she had a share in a cow, the only way around the tyranny of “laws” threatening kidnapping for free transactions of raw milk in virginia, the state motto of which is “Sic Semper Tyrannis“:
“On the obverse, Virtus, the genius of the Commonwealth, dressed as an Amazon, resting on a spear in her right hand, point downward, touching the earth; and holding in her left hand, a sheathed sword, or parazonium, pointing upward; her head erect and face upturned; her left foot on the form of Tyranny represented by the prostrate body of a man, with his head to her left, his fallen crown nearby, a broken chain in his left hand, and a scourge in his right. Above the group and within the border conforming therewith, shall be the word ‘Virginia,’ and, in the space below, on a curved line, shall be the motto, ‘Sic Semper Tyrannis.’ On the reverse, shall be placed a group consisting of Libertas, holding a wand and pileus in her right hand; on her right, Aeternitas, with a globe and phoenix in her right hand; on the left of Libertas, Ceres, with a cornucopia in her left hand, and an ear of wheat in her right; over this device, in a curved line, the word ‘Perseverando.’”
and you can’t buy raw milk.
March 28th, 2007 at 15:55
opeluboy, thanks for the comment. i’m curious what foods you ate instead of meat, and how quickly you noticed changes. i seem to be doing normally, though i have tired days like when i ate meat. with so many factors (the biggest for me being regular exercise and sleep), i’m not good at ascribing changes to what caused them. have been eating plenty of pure peanut butter (nothing but peanuts), which i guess is a pretty good source of protein, though not a match for meat.
it’s a busy, expensive (taxed) world, but if you get the chance to let present suppliers know your preference for products they don’t yet carry (e.g., free range), and willingness to pay for the extra care, it could help reduce factory farming.
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:10
Interesting post.
Amazing to me that we share some similar thoughts and observations even though separate paths led to them and the thoughts have had different consequences.
My cancer experience motivated me to reconsider every aspect of my lifestyle; diet was one aspect that was ripe for improvement. Although I thought my diet was fairly good before, as I learned more about nutrition I realized it really left a lot to be desired.
Only as a by-product of my nutrition quest did I come to appreciate the horrors of factory farming and its deleterious consequences on multiple levels (not just nutrition even though that was my first and immediate concern).
By the way, I’m also just about as non-statist as a person can be. Have to admit that it does sometimes make me just a bit uncomfortable to find that my pursuit of a cruelty-free, wholesome diet sometimes puts me in the company of some real dyed-in-the-wool statist types, but I guess I’m happy to be able to share SOMETHING with them. (But why is that space so disproportionately populated by those who worship government?)
With respect to animals, it is just cruel the way animals are typically treated on a factory farm. Yet most of us (and I was as guilty as anybody in the days before cancer motivated me to get more in touch with my food) buy a “piece of meat” at the store and don’t even make the connection that the package we’re holding contains remains of what was at one time a living, breathing animal.
I remember many years ago reading about an artist who bought a whole chicken at the grocery store, named it “Blinky” and then had it buried in a pet cemetary. He really did underscore what a fine line there is between “pet” and “food.” But even though I thought I “got” it, I obviously didn’t think about it deeply enough to make some of the connections that you have made without the “aid” of a traumatic experience.
The irony in all this is that one doesn’t have to become a true vegetarian to avoid the cruelty.
Although I consume NONE of the the meat (including poultry and farm raised fish) available at the typical supermarket, I still consume animal products. Those products include a little grass-fed beef, free range chicken, and (more plentifully) free range eggs, homemade yogurt, butter, etc. made from raw dairy.
You don’t have to kill a cow to enjoy the cow’s milk and cream and numerous derivative dairy products. You don’t have to kill a chicken to enjoy its eggs. And I’ve got to tell you, the eggs from a truly free range chicken that is allowed to have the varied diet nature intended are more tasty as well as being much more nutritious (they don’t even look the same or have the same texture–they’re much better on all counts).
Similarly, not just the meat, but the raw milk from cows kept on pasture is nutritionally superior to the crap one gets at the store as well as being more flavorful.
Look, in a typical commercial dairy, the cows are kept in confinement, fed terrible diets, are pumped with recombinant bovine growth hormones to increase their milk production, and are so sick that they’re pumped with antibiotics to keep them alive. Even so, they only live 3 to six years (really, more like 3 to five). You better believe that milk from such sick cows needs to be pasteurized.
Cows are ruminants and are meant to eat grass. Cows that are kept on pasture, off hormones and antibiotics will live 12 to 15 years. The milk they produce has a tremendously better nutritional profile: friendly bacteria, enzymes, vitamin C, I could go on. Of course all that gets “cooked” away in the pasteurization process. Also, healthy cows’ raw milk has immunoglobulins that help prevent contamination from unfriendly bacteria, an added bonus.
Admittedly I’ve gone to the extreme in the pursuit of wholesome food, but so far that–along with numerous other changes in lifestyle–seems to be paying off. How much is attributable to any one thing is open to debate, discussion, whatever, but there can be no doubt that I’m healthier now than I’ve been in many years.
Growing organic vegetables this year. Also blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and grapes. Wish we had enough land to have a dairy cow and some chickens. But we’re pretty pleased with the quality of milk and eggs we get from a farm not far from here, so as long as they maintain their commitment to sustainable, humane, and organic methods, we’re OK. Love seeing those cows on green pastures and the chickens freely roaming when we go up there.
Oh yes, we’ve started all the “crazy” things that one normally only sees hippies doing: composting, organic gardening, etc. Hard to explain the satisfaction one gets from seeing kitchen and other compostable waste turned into such a rich growing medium. Really puts one in touch with one’s food on a deeper level, and it makes one appreciate the life cycle and interconnectedness. (And here, again, I find myself in weird company: one doesn’t have to be religious to appreciate these things, even though those who are religious seem to think so.)
Even if the commercial growers can get plants to grow big and fast using chemical fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides, etc., there’s just no way their soil is as nutrient rich as mine using compost derived from a multitude of sources (vegetables, fruits, leaves, eggshells, ashes, teas, coffee grounds…), and, appearance aside, a plant’s nutrition profile will be limited by what nutrients are freely available in the soil. Let’s face it, most commercial food is grown on depleted soils, which is why, as much as I would like for it not to be the case, it’s very difficult to get all the nutrients one needs for optimal health from diet alone–even a good diet.
When Weston Price analyzed the composition of many food samples from the various “primitive” peoples he observed, he found out that their food was so nutrient dense that those so-called primitives were actually megadosing on a number of vitamins and minerals–just from food. I’m hoping to get our growing medium so rich–naturally, organically–that the food from our garden will rival the food consumed by those primitive people observed by Weston Price. But our garden won’t be big enough to supply all of our needs, so I don’t anticipate that we’ll be able to eliminate supplements completely. Nevertheless, I’m looking forward to getting a big nutrition (not to mention flavor) boost from the whole exercise.
Boy, talk about rambling on! Sorry for the lengthy comment, but your post really stimulated a chain of thoughts here. Anyway, more power to you in your latest quest. Will be interested to hear how your thoughts and habits evolve in this sphere.
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:04
no apologies needed here for quality writing of any length. thanks. never have understood the trend to require only short emails, posts, and comments. best wishes on your permanent cancer removal.
yes, it sounds like we’re headed in the same direction, though you’re farther along. i suppose i’ll one day start eating animal products again, but only as you’ve described. important for me to explore the vegan style for a while. had one of the best pizzas ever the other night at uno chicago grill, where a way cool manager offered to make me a vegan deep-dish crust (no cheese) whenever i give notice earlier in the day and he’s there. they already have a great sauce with tomato chunks (has sugar, but i’m not going to refuse everything based on that). added onion, green pepper, and roasted vegetables. super tasty. couldn’t believe. this guy was so cool that when i ordered pesto as one of the toppings, he came out to the bar and reminded me that their pesto has parmesan cheese in it. he’s a hunter, and was very interested in discussing veganism when i approached him a couple of weeks ago to ask what foods he’d recommend so i could continue eating there. uno has a kiosk in the lobby where you can quickly check the ingredients for all items on the menu. pretty cool. their veggie soup is apparently really all veggie — a nice change from the letdown i’ve grown accustomed to, finding the word “veggie” or “vegetarian” only to then see ingredients like farm-factory eggs, cheese, and mayo.
bought a wonderful out-of-print book last year about doing everything, especially food, yourself. looks like it’s been updated. i can dig on the beauty of labor division, but if i had to choose between the two extremes, that book describes my preference. maybe one day i’ll find some land impervious to the uniformed marauders. or is that place elysium?