veganism, the road to tail
had an interesting incident tonight at a grocery store. waiting to pay, i heard an attractive, friendly woman behind me say, “my nutrition professor would be very happy with your purchases there.”
oh really? 
tell me more!
somewhat embarrassed for having my food noted as healthy, but always interested in talking to friendly women with personalities, i said i’d switched to eating vegan about 2 months ago, and that it’s been interesting. she asked about my health, and what i was doing for protein. while she was talking i noticed the big fat wedding ring, but it didn’t get me down. started thinking generally that maybe i could work the mild inconvenience of veganism into a pathway to the ass highway. is there a subtle way to more prominently advertise my grocery choices as i’m walking through the aisles? time to hit the laboratory.
only trouble, naturally, is that most of the chicks looking to lay down a vegan boy are also among the worst in assuming the rightness of violent threats against peaceful humans. still… it gives a man pause. i keep up regular workouts and my boxing training, maybe i’ll be a poster child for healthy respect for animals and, uh, other living things. hooooodawhggy! time to print out some more copies of my “don’t fuck with me” contract — essential for any intimate contact with the often psycho branch of human sexual division (AKA female).
or maybe the contract’s the problem. have to give it a think.