socialism, restaurant style
tonight i was in DC (involuntarily), and decided to check out some pizza joint noted for its vegan pizzas. ordered a marinara pizza with soy cheese and two toppings — artichokes, and onions. each topping was an extra $1.50, on an individual size pizza. no problem; i knew it going in.
[UPDATE: as a new vegan who generally avoids faux animal products and had never sought or eaten soy cheese before this incident, i assumed that experienced vegans touting it as vegan was enough. however, it turns out that most soy cheese is made using animal-derived casein.]
the pizza arrived with a marginally acceptable showing of artichokes, and what summed to a spare 3 or 4 small, thin slices of onion, generally concentrated on about 1/4 of the pizza. i immediately went to the front desk and asked for the manager. he followed me to the table, and i showed him the pizza, reminding him that they charge $1.50 per topping. did he feel that was an adequate appearance from the onion squad?
no, he said, offering to put more on. or he could remove the charge. i said i’d prefer he not charge me for it. i persisted though, as i sometimes do (ha!). as a manager, how did he feel about a pizza being sent out with a few thin rings of onion tossed onto one edge of the pizza, the rest basically left bare?
“well, it’s not ideal, of course, but i must also stand by my employees and say that they always do their best.”
“really?” i asked, pointing to the joke of a pizza. “this is your employees doing their best?”
“i’m sure they didn’t intend to do that.”
“well, all i know is that if i made pizzas for a living, i’d be sure to put a real layer of topping on.”
i was pissed. have seen this sort of “honest mistake” (whatever the fuck that means; i’m just quoting the popular excuse) ploy by managers before, and it’s a major fuckup on their part, since it pisses off the customer for no payoff. there’s no proper action in these cases of obvious error except to apologize, offer at least a redo/uncharge, and possibly a free drink or dessert or something. i went way out of my way to that joint tonight, and they fucked up my first order, which — solely because of the manager’s illogical bullshit — will be my last.
leaving, i walked by the manager. “so how does that go again? ‘they did their best’? sucks that i worked in a restaurant for six years and never thought to use that one. ‘they did their best!’”
“it was not their intention to make the mistake.”
“and why would i care what their intention was? keep in mind, you’re talking to a restaurant vet. not only did the guy who made that pizza look at it and deem it acceptable to send to a customer; the guy who brought it out did as well. this was at least a two-man screwup. it’s the job of whoever brings the food — which wasn’t the waiter, BTW… [here i was letting him know the reasonably good waiter hadn't fucked it up]
“the food runner?”
“whoever. that person is to audition the order before it goes out.”
“you’re right; i agree.”
“great, then we agree.”
dimwit. this is a sickness that has permeated american society while most everybody slept. execution? who gives a fuck! we are to judge each man by his intentions. he didn’t intend to send out a BS pizza (big prices at this place, BTW), so “i stand by my employees”. ahh, loyalty — that’s the sort of high ideal that gets customers to return for more shitty food!
just as the golden rule lubricates society into peaceful harmony, so it benefits the restaurant business. you see the violation of it regularly now, with the lifeless “don’t give a shit” attitude of most people preparing food in restaurants. i’ll watch them, and can tell immediately if they’re preparing food as they would for themselves, or if they’re going through the motions slopping shit around just to get “product” out the door. great test is tomatoes. watch the average clock inmate place tomatoes on a sandwich. does he spread them around somewhat evenly, or put a stack of them on one side? same with pickles. the manner in which it’s done so often says, “i couldn’t give a fuck less how this sandwich turns out.”
i’ve asked people before, “if you were making that sandwich for yourself, that’s how you’d do it? you’d put the tomato slices only on one side? a stack of pickles so they’re eaten in one bite? why would i want that?”
if they don’t straighten it out, i walk.
people have, in shocking numbers, begun to accept this emerging standard of uncaring. waiters may suck to hell, but the victims feel bad about tipping less than 10% (sometimes more). they go back, feeding the decline. they won’t ask for the manager and get in faces. they won’t ask for the manager when it’s done right (at least as important as bitching). when people have begun to fuck themselves in so basic a thing as food service in competitive venues, what happens when they’re regularly raped financially and spiritually by the criminal monopoly? they take it. it’s all the same failure to demand competence and cease rewarding slackers and goons. they are the mindless shits ayn rand described so well in Atlas Shrugged. it’s here.
ron paul gonna turn that around? not a chance. socialism is all around us, and the key to “success” in the socialist world is to be a helpless dumbass who utterly sucks at his chosen profession. that is the new superman.