the christmas miracle, a short story by [______]–
mary- hey joe, im preggers
joseph– but, you’re a virgin
mary- oh i know, can you believe it? it’s a christmas miracle!and so, a two thousand year old religion with over a billion adherents world-wide was born
let us pray. and pass me some o’ dem shrimps. and some swamp chicken.
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December 26th, 2007 at 16:53
Nope. The religion was born three days after he was crucified.
But you weren’t shooting for accuracy, were you?
December 26th, 2007 at 17:32
speaking of accuracy, NowNowCharley, i didn’t write that.
however, it is accurate, for it implies that the religion was born when mary hatched the notion of divine virgin conception and sold it to someone else. you, being an apparent logic kumquat, are arbitrarily assigning to “born” a later alleged event crucial to only the lesser believers.
you can’t even nail the writer on the christmas bit, for it’s feasible that mary could have predicted the name and subsequent hoopla.
December 26th, 2007 at 22:59
I’ll wager you’ve never been a Christian.
You shouldn’t have bothered to respond.
December 26th, 2007 at 23:07
no, i enjoy watching overconfident ignorami get their asses kicked with logic and truth. you blunder in here as though you’re going to set things straight, and every word you type is outright shit.
that happened to me, i’d be fucking embarrassed. you? you just pretend the problem is something other than your stupid blog vandal coward bitch self, and continue to say nothing.
December 27th, 2007 at 00:25
Why don’t you take a laxative and chill.
You repeated (cause you said “i didn’t write that) that the religion was born with the virgin birth. No it wasn’t. Any Christian will tell you the religion centers around the death and resurrection.
You don’t know a damn thing, especially when you spew some crap about lesser believers.
I call you on it and you get pissy.
And don’t you complain about people using latin (“ad hominem”, for example)? Your use of ignorami is wrong, dumbfuck.
Are YOU embarrassed yet?
December 27th, 2007 at 00:40
Any Christian will tell you the religion centers around the death and resurrection.
so, for example, the loaves and fishes deal, that was after the alleged resurrection? and john the baptist prattling to everyone about his hero, that was only after the resurrection? just fill me in on this, because i apparently have my timeline bum over noggin. coulda sworn the disciples and all that bullshit clan were worshiping the guy before he went to the supreme 3-day boot camp.
especially when you spew some crap about lesser believers
jesus allegedly had many followers before his alleged resurrection. those were the stronger believers who didn’t need the heavy duty voodoo to get their mojo workin’, oh ye of mush-ed brain.
I call you on it and you get pissy.
said the chumpette who hasn’t called shit on anyone here but did enter this thread pissy unilaterally.
Your use of ignorami is wrong, dumbfuck.
these guys are gonna be super bummed when you fill them in on the rules of your alternate universe.
Are YOU embarrassed yet?
why should i be? you keep coming back to get your ass kicked. i must be delivering a valued service here. if only it paid. if only cowards would ID themselves.
December 27th, 2007 at 01:24
“so, for example … boot camp.
I don’t know why you’re giving this jibber-jabber. If you have any doubts to how a Christian would answer then say so. Don’t prevaricate.
“jesus allegedly had many followers … mush-ed brain.”
So the non-lesser believers had a 33 year window to prove their mettle. The theologian says everyone else is screwed.
“said the chumpette who hasn’t called shit on anyone here but did enter this thread pissy unilaterally.”
Do I have to ask your mommy for you to come out and play? What the hell do you mean by unilaterally? Call a friend over if you think it’ll help you.
“these guys are gonna be super bummed when you fill them in on the rules of your alternate universe.”
They were. Try finding it in another dictionary.
“why should i be? you keep coming back to get your ass kicked. i must be delivering a valued service here. if only it paid. if only cowards would ID themselves.”
When you’re kicking ass, you usually don’t need to announce it. Do you want a state approved ID officer?
December 27th, 2007 at 01:59
I don’t know why you’re giving this jibber-jabber.
because it directly and easily contradicts your ludicrous and arbitrary bitching at somebody selecting an earlier birthdate for a religion you probably don’t even give a damn about. too transparent.
So the non-lesser believers had a 33 year window to prove their mettle.
did the humor of this post entirely pass you by? sarcasm detector up on the lift? i don’t give a fuck about arguing christianity with you or pretty much anyone else. however, you won’t get away with insisting upon the birthdate you pulled from your ass as the only birthdate of the religion. one could even argue persuasively that the garden of eden was the birthplace of christianity. who gives a fuck? the difference is that i’m allowing multiple birthdates; you’re insisting it just hasta be one other than what the author of this extraordinary christmas tale chose mostly for obviously humorous, but still tenable, purposes.
now fuck off, douche. you’re not making a case. next you’ll ask me what seminary i went to, right? c’mon, go ahead. you know you wanna!
What the hell do you mean by unilaterally?
you charge in here pissy and then berate someone for being pissy? WTF. do you read your drivel before publishing it? can you never back away from a ludicrous position?
Try finding it in another dictionary.
don’t need to. it made it into a major dictionary, is common usage, and doesn’t even need to be for me to have fun with it. you sure as fuck are not a worthy subject for attempting the education of regarding the order of language evolution between dictionaries and the “commoners”. one rules the other, and that’s a goddamned confirmed, sickeningly obvious truth. your problem is that you reversed the order because you think it helps your pathetic invocation of fallacious ad hominem. BTW, i’m a little pissed that you don’t use those lower case Ss that look like f. very impertinent and relevant.
Do you want a state approved ID officer?
not unreasonable to request that you stick to one name. given your behavior, i suspect it’s much worse than that, and there isn’t a chance you’ll ever say who you are. very stalker-ish.
oh, and i just read your (apparently) latest blitz comment. that’s it. done. like talking to a screaming psycho in a rubber room. answer its question, and it screams, “why won’t you answer my fucking question?”
your problems are obviously outside the material on this blog. spent far too much time engaging your baby routine.
December 27th, 2007 at 12:27
“because it directly and easily contradicts your ludicrous and arbitrary bitching at somebody selecting an earlier birthdate for a religion you probably don’t even give a damn about. too transparent.”
OK, you win this one. I chose an arbitrary date, exept that prior to that date, the religion would be missing the core tenet followed by all its followers for thousands of years. Yep, it’s arbitrary and I chose it just to be argumentative, and unilateral to boot.
“did the humor of this post entirely pass you by?…”
Not at all, but when you’re being a prick, do your homework first.
What was it you said about anonymous blogging? You smell like someone who can’t handle being called out on his own bullshit.
December 27th, 2007 at 16:25
NowNowCharley boxing:
“ow!”
“ow!”
“ow!”
“jeeeesus christ, that hurt!”
“OW!”
“ughhh“
::kerplunk::
=====
(after the smelling salts, NowNowCharley props herself up on her elbows):
“so… you gotta get up prettttty early in the mornin’ before you box with ol’ NowNowCharley! maybe you’ll remember that next time, tenderfoot.”
December 28th, 2007 at 16:08
Pretty funny, I’ll admit.
I almost didn’t notice your response was a clever dodge.
You do win on the personal attack count, though.
Have you though about being positive and respectful when negotiating for my ID?