everybody’s doin’ it!
at starbucks now, mulling confusedly this notion of them offering me incentive, via free coffee, to “vote”. as you may have read, starbucks got its hand swatted by goon squads both state and fed, since offering me a coffee to say i voted is one step away from raping and beheading babies.
when i asked if they were giving away coffee today, the woman at the counter asked in a prissified romper room teacher voice whether i’d voted. naturally, that made me want to scream, especially considering my regular custom of the chain. restraining myself as usual, i merely said words to which any “did you vote” statist would immediately drop and give me twenty genuflects:
“isn’t that question illegal?”
the guy at the espresso machine filled her in quickly, and i eventually got a coffee without having to out myself as a peaceful man, but i haven’t stopped thinking of the profound weirdness of the concept — not so much on the part of starbucks management, which probably assumes more of its customers are overtly socialistic, but on hers; knowing nothing of my preferences, she still seemed strongly devoted to me voting. all the psych energy slaves invest in their big “right” to choose which master fucks up peaceful lives for the next four years, and she’s encouraging me to possibly nullify her precious long-savored worthless vote? she sure didn’t seem smart enough to analyze the starbucks demo and figure she’ll net reinforcement. dunno. just surreal, this increasingly sanctimonious flagellation in the name of rank subjection. very jim jones by the vat.
i blame MTV.


