stasi triumph

took pics of a friend’s car recently to help him sell it online. to finish, i asked him to drive it onto the attractive grassy park area of the development where he owns a business. the light and background were perfect, and we got the necessary shots with a few minutes to spare. driving off the grass, we see a guy taking pictures of us, evincing a goofball psycho intensity.

wondering aloud what he was up to (some people had already stopped us to express interest in the car), my friend asked if he should check him out. suspecting what it turned out to be, i agreed.

we pulled around to the other side of the park, with dipshit boy stepping up his savior-of-the-universe button pressing. my friend asked, “can i help you with something?”

the dumbass crossed in front of the car and aimed directly at the “license” plate. by god, there would be no second 9/11 on his watch.

blah blah blah. you know the rest. this fuck had noted a circular urging residents to be “vigilant”, so a car driving slowly over frozen grass for an obvious photo shoot became his big opportunity. pretending we didn’t think he was a pathetic doof, we talked him down while also alerting him subtly that my friend was much better friends with his landlord than he’d ever be.

this is the new america, courtesy of the small fry with brain deficiency and ridiculous dreams of relevance, fed by the professional criminals he was ready to call.

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