20080319

exercise cures most ills

for most of my childhood i had to listen to my father bitch about his aching back. wah wah wah, my back hurts, rub my back, i can't get anything done because of my back... aching and groaning and hypochondriac shit out the ass.

just had a major problem with my upper back for the last couple of weeks. had lifted a 90 lb box incorrectly and strained the hell out of my already meager muscles. turning my head around to back into a parking space was painful, triggering grimaces and grunts. unlike my father, however, i know the correct medicine and took steps. the problem was that for weeks i'd been too far away from the gym where i have a short-term membership, and wasn't doing anything to substitute for it. so i went soft as a pussified deskbound bitch — kinda like my monomaniacal father, who buried his face in books and his typewriter to the exclusion of far more important things (e.g., health, family, balance).

interestingly, it was one of my dad's many doctors who steered me on the straight and narrow early on. in my mid 20s i gradually developed a major knee problem, to the point where i couldn't bend it, and it hurt to walk. i made an appointment with this guy, a DO (doctor of osteopathy), and figured i was fucked. he saw me for 10 minutes, asked a bunch of questions, then told me i needed to start riding a bike seriously, take up swimming, or regularly perform specific weight lifting he described to me. he explained that the muscles around my knee were weak, unable to keep my kneecap in place while i ran and played drums (pounding pavement and kicking a pedal), so it swiveled all around, irritating the cartilage under the kneecap. the official name for my condition: chondromalacia. BTW, this is the same guy who a few years before had saved my ass when i woke up and couldn't swivel my head to one side; he cracked the fuck out of my back, worked the way up to the neck, and i walked out an hour later feeling like... well, i was gonna say "a million bucks", but that's not such a great expression these day. (i'd recommend this kickass minimalist doc, but he probably wouldn't want hits from this site, and last time i told someone about him his waiting list for new patients was impossibly long anyway.)

so i stopped running, bought a bike, faggy duds, and all the trimmings, and started training. within weeks my knee was improving nicely, though a few days off from riding was enough for it to head downward again. within a few years and a couple of racing teams, i'd gone from a spindly-legged pussy ashamed of wearing shorts, to merely a generally spindly pussy who got from many females favorable remarks on my muscular legs (females who still found me disgusting, but the attention was shocking enough to be pleasant).

any muscle injury i've suffered since (two from minor bicycle crashes), i suck it up and do light work with weights. that encourages blood flow, and — as long as you don't push it into reinjury — helps the muscles get stronger, both healing the injury and preventing future problems. knowing i couldn't continue to be a back spasm dipshit, yesterday i paid for access to a new gym chain near where i am for the next month or so. one workout later, and my back has improved at least 80%. lesson learned; when on the road, don't get soft. working out is essential to good health.

funny thing about exercise, it doesn't need to be that much. even a spirited 5 minutes every morning can induce radical improvement. one of the best situations i had in that regard was living about 11 miles from work and commuting by bicycle. in the winter that also included what i believe is mandatory for those who'd remain healthy in cold weather: regular exposure to extreme cold. it's another subject, but one i'm equally as sure of. next winter, try what i've been doing since the mid 90s: don't wear a jacket or coat. just keep one in the car in case you're stuck outside for more than 10 minutes or so. it's a mental trip, but important to health and vigor (IMO). also works out nicely with the insane practice of stores that stay heated above 70°F while nearly everyone's swamped in huge overcoats.

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posted by saltypig @ 04:09