the IDIOT

month or two ago i was hanging out at a store owned by a couple silly enough to be my friends. it’s pretty casual there, and sometimes they’re off elsewhere while i just play with their birds (3 cockatiels, 2 love birds, 4 budgies) and try to stay out of the way of customers.

two women and a young girl walking by asked me about the birds, and we chatted for a bit. the mother mentioned some book about a girl and an owl. since the daughter was obviously very into the birds, i asked if she’d like to feed and water them. she was thrilled, and did a great job with minimal instruction. i dig watching kids discover things.

on the way out the girl asked if she could keep a feather she’d found on the floor. can’t stand drone kids, and this was the anti-drone prototype. wonderful. they said goodbye and i figured that was that, since they’re about 40 miles away. (more…)

about an hour ago i pulled into a grocery store parking lot and noticed, just before i nearly drove over him, a downed bird flapping on the pavement by the store entrance. parked quickly. as i left my car one of the bird’s friends landed nearby to check on him. i backed away and waited, but his friend just took off after looking helplessly at his pard, so i went in closer. seeing that it wasn’t a chick, i approached and gently scooped him into my hand to at least get him out of the traffic area. he didn’t resist at all, which i thought odd, and he even tried to wrap his toes around my fingers for stability. except for my brief initial scoop i didn’t restrain his wings, and he didn’t protest-flap. (more…)

this morning when i came back from breakfast, i saw two tiny chirpers sitting in the yard. they weren’t afraid of me, and they were obviously babies. looked around for a nest for a while, but found nothing. it was weird. didn’t touch them, since i don’t know anything about wild birds. just made sure the cat was inside, and left them alone for an hour or so. after they didn’t go anywhere, i called the local humane society and got an orphaned wildlife number, since it was either deal with them or let the cat eat ‘em. the guy there was cool, and walked me through the steps to make reasonably sure they were truly orphaned. in case they were, he told me how to get them, what kind of food to make, and how to feed them. he also had more phone numbers, starting with a local rescue/rehab lady.

she answered immediately. said she needed to take care of some things, but would arrange a meeting later in the day if i were going to feed them and keep them warm, which i said would be no problem. we hung up, then i got a box, put paper towels in it, and went out to see if they were still unattended. they were chirping and acting hungry, so i went ahead and gathered them up after a last search for parents or a nest. pretty easy, though neither was super psyched about being in the box at first.

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last fall, somebody in my house decided to bring home a “free” bird. this bird, a quaker parrot we were told was 4 years old, was a mess. obviously maltreated, it was defensive and hostile. when i first tried to pick him up, he bit the living fuck out of my finger. those beaks are like industrial machines.

being a curious sort, and ignorant regarding birds, i decided to help this mess, which somehow was named “lucky” (not sure who did that). i tackled the internet, and in about a week knew much more and could get by. within a few days i’d bathed him and clipped his disgustingly long nails, which it seems may have brought on his mobility problems — maybe permanently. found out from the band on his leg that he was really 11 years old. also heard later that he’d been treated like shit at his previous homes. apparently, he was used as amusement by kids who thought it was funny to give him alcohol and watch him pass out. heats my blood just thinking about it. if i went back in time and saw one of those fucks doing that to my bird, i’d be tempted to pound him into blender material. became very attached to lucky, but knew i couldn’t give him a long term home. (more…)