the IDIOT

i think roughly 80% of the new Curb Your Enthusiasm season polishes lizard cock, but robert smigel fans can’t just walk away from the latest episode and his intensely vulgar softball owner/manager shtick.

want to love CYE’s later years, and yeah it’s easy to hold it to an inflated standard (every season had weak points), but WTF; larry’s unholy writer/producer pals from Seinfeld make most of the recent seasons blow, with their cutesy-tidy wrap-up gimmicks (the worst of Seinfeld) and the obviously shit atmosphere they lend the set, where nearly every regular phones in his part because aren’t we all goddamn geniuses. you can almost hear the trio of fartsniffers laughing from the monitor bank, high-fiving in headphones. wish they’d fuck off and take their shit plot devices on the same truck to hell.

yes, i’m talking about alec berg, david mandel, and jeff schaffer. tools, destroying a great series since season 6.

anyone have an explanation for how susie essman’s acting took a dump on itself this year? what the hell. alone she can be credited for killing at least 3 episodes. the worst. bill buckner (yes, red sox first baseman buckner) acted a circle around her last night.

yeah, a bumpy car seat. fuck you, larry. just makes me want to set myself on fire.

generally loathe musicals, but this is a big exception.

many have heard of efforts to ban dihydrogen monoxide, some via this episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit!.

however, i hadn’t seen this, a tobacco-institute-style attempt to rehabilitate the reputation of dihydrogen oxide, hydrogen hydroxide, hydronium hydroxide, or whatever ya call it. the environmentally concerned folks at the dihydrogen monoxide research division were open enough to link to the opposition.

just saw that on a sign from last year [scroll to last pic in first post]. ha.

i’m sorta manly, but not anything like this.

juliet: daddy says the bible’s a load of bunkum.

pauline: but we’re all going to heaven.

juliet: i’m not. i’m going to the fourth world. it’s sort of like heaven, only better, because there aren’t any christians. it’s an absolute paradise of music, art, and pure enjoyment. […more]

what happened to all those douchetwaffers talking thwacksmolia millenniuosum?

anyway, here’s what you need to know about staying alive in backcountry:

long ago a friend gave me a VHS tape with some unerased Baywatch material at the end. this 1-minute clip has always cracked me up:

he “rescues” an underwater girl by removing her buoyant wetsuit, exposing the tuned bikini’d machinery. as he strips away the final bit of wetsuit apparently holding the lass in weighted distress, it’s free to rocket upward, after which the hoff can kick to the surface with his arm around rescued girl, let her on a surfboard, and snarfle her ass. now that’s a gig.

tony clifton and muammar gaddafi.

did you know? i didn’t.

video is titled “Horrible Stand Up Comedian”.

original.

after overdosing on The Cable Guy, i put it away for years. now i’m back spinning it a few, and this is just a quick “fuck you” to all who panned this superior movie. jim carrey gets annoying with too much exposure, but he has art running through every muscle. i’d see this movie again just to watch him assert his perfectionithm in a perfect 15-second bit of movie history.

if you haven’t seen Me, Myself & Irene, it’s another strong JC gig wrongly pissed on. i watch it plenty, despite its generally fizzling movement and my admire/hate relationship with the farrelly brothers.

shocking. so shocking.