the IDIOT

i watched MacGruber and will probably see it again. though a movie in need of at least major editing (too many jokes blew, as usual), the sex scenes were classic. one happened after i was saying to myself, “well, this would be the ultimate natural gag to do here, but they won’t have the balls.” they had the balls.

if you want to enjoy a few good laughs, with the understanding that much of the movie sucks, give it a spin. it could never have been funnier than these sketches with charles barkley though. gotta dig will forte’s singing.

if not your thing, sit down and savor Wild Target and the unsurpassed emily blunt. the most salivation.

after seeing Avatar and Alice in Wonderland, i’m baffled how anyone could seriously favor Avatar over the other. have disliked tim burton and danny elfman for years now, basically because of many of the reasons in this funny vid: (more…)

big fan of the 1995 movie Tank Girl, which among other things describes in one line of dialog the modern “american” spirit. jet girl (naomi watts) to tank girl (lori petty):

you don’t understand. the better you behave, the more they leave you alone. and the more they leave you alone, the better off you are.

this cowardly attitude is the whole of the modern “conservative”, who in his abject worship of uniformed goons is merely attempting to cover for his deep fear of the same. “obedience!”, he says. such obedience fetishists are so ashamed of their weakness that they foam against any who resists. examine the disgustingly sexual comments of the obedience fetishists in reaction to this YouTube vid. no excuse is too low for heaping venom against a man who simply wishes strongly to be left to his comparatively peaceful business (i say comparatively because the vid maker’s a state parasite), unassailed by uniformed parasites with small brains/dicks.

ha. knew there was something i was overlooking about chloë moretz, who played hit-girl in the piffled mess Kick-Ass. just figured it out when i fired up To Kill a Mockingbird and remembered one of my favorite young (then) actors, mary badham. have a look, here and here. same independent look and spirit as the movie version of hit-girl.

you’re not going to see this movie? WTF’s wrong with you?

[update 20100505
uh… never mind. the hit-girl parts ruled, but that was about it. way to ruin a potentially killer movie, assholes. the relentless shitty script-in-hand style narration was enough to cause apoplexy. bad enough that the text of the narration blew; you have that joke actor reading it? c'mon. so bad. so high-school bad. apparently, there are actors who can sound okay spitting out memorized lines, but reading them? wow. did i say this sucked yet? fuck you, matthew vaughn, jane goldman, and aaron johnson. fuck you to hell.]

SFW trailer:

could it be Demolition Man?

Prosecutor investigating NJ Walmart racial comment
Prosecutor trying to determine if racial comment at NJ Walmart a bias crime

WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP, N.J. (AP) — A racial comment made over the public-address system at a Walmart store in southern New Jersey is being investigated as a possible bias crime, a prosecutor’s office said Thursday.

A male voice came over the system Sunday evening and calmly announced: “Attention, Walmart customers: All black people, leave the store now.”

[...]

Officials say several people have come forward and expressed interest in getting counseling.

i love you, sandy. always have. you know that, darlin’.

fellow connoisseurs of the feminine aspect should have a look at Whip It — perhaps better titled Tosser’s Paradise.
(more…)

i’ve figured for decades that standard video will eventually be 360° post-controllable. here’s a damned impressive internet demo of the format.

on the audio side, here’s the type of demisemi-analogous microphone donna summer used to record her vocals on Another Place and Time.

magic.

contrary to the foolishness of paulists and other psychotic poltroons, any year-spanning dollar comparison not adjusted for material debasement is deficient.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Film box offices were poised on Wednesday to eclipse 2007′s record $9.68 billion in U.S. and Canadian ticket sales with Hollywood eyeing more than $10 billion this year as audiences flocked to theaters during the recession. [...]

oh wow!

buried after the headline and hype: (more…)

modern movies have largely become a joke of “how many layers of ‘twist’?” Think i have it down to a simple method now, made easier if you’re watching via medium that tells you how much time’s remaining. (more…)

at a party last spring i had the good fortune of running into a woman who hipped me to tina fey. had noticed TF on SNL now and then, but hadn’t seen her enough to get around those repellent poser glasses. party woman, no average dullard, told me that tina fey was smart, and that Mean Girls was a good movie. despite her feyish glasses — easier to ignore in conversation — the advice was noted.

so i got Mean Girls, pronouncing it worth multiple views (i like lindsay lohan, but my favorite is lizzy caplan’s bitchin’ lehhhhhhzbian janis ian). then i found 30 Rock and was officially smitten for life, fey’s horrendously ignorant political views notwithstanding.

now to john mccain. (more…)

what red-blooded american boy doesn’t admire ron jeremy, ultimate disgusting pig porn star with the kickass personality (labeled “the thinking man’s porn star” by adam carolla)? Time magazine interview promoting his recent book. (more…)